Windows
by NyktaVykta
Summary: Rating up to be safe Hiei explains to Kurama something about his past that hurts them both WARNINGS: Mention of rape, shounen-ai, Possible Yaoi Yay, I updated it!
1. Windows

Hi...'tis Nykta! ^_^ So, I hope you like the ficlet, remember, I do my very best so if you catch any errors, let me know! I love all of you reviewers! ((HUGS)) to all!!Flames accepted, but let's try to keep this a no bashing zone k? DISCLAIMER: I own nothing...*sob* WARNING: Mention of rape, Hiei angst, over use of the word 'the'.  
  
Kurama was packing his things into an old comfortable looking brown leather suitcase. Hiei watched him silently, every now and again commenting on something of sentimental value that Kurama had decided to take along. Hiei had nothing of the sort, save the teargem. "What's that?" Hiei inquired as Kurama placed a small square of cloth into his bag, before zipping it up carefully. "There!" He said, standing up and dusting his hands off before placing them on his hips. "All done...Hiei?" Hiei was rocking back and forth gently on Kurama's window sill. "Hn?" Kurama classified that as a 'what' hn, and continued with his honest question.  
  
"Hiei?"  
  
"I said Hn."  
  
"Why do you always sit outside or near a window?"  
  
"I don't want your human mother to come in and see me."  
  
"I told you that she was gone for the weekend, as is the rest of my family. They're in the mountains. I said that I wasn't feeling well so I could stay and go to see Koenma with you."  
  
"Hn."  
  
Are you going to answer me?"  
  
"..."  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"...!"  
  
"Hiei?"  
  
".....!!!"  
  
"Answer me!"  
  
"IT LETS ME FEEL LIKE I HAVE A WAY OUT OK?"  
  
"What?" Kurama was stunned. He hadn't really expected an outburst from Hiei, unless it was a physically violent one. And Kurama expected everything. "I've been holding that in for a very long time now..." Hiei whispered, staring at the floor. "Hiei, what do you mean?" Kurama asked gently. Hiei, to Kurama's great surprise, hopped onto Kurama's bed, then shut the window behind him, as if it was your average door. "I just...don't like to be alone with other...males in a closed space." Kurama cocked his head to one side. "You've never minded before." Hiei chuckled sardonically. "Says who?" Kurama hadn't yet the time to put two and two together to understand what exactly Hiei meant. "Why only other males, Hiei?" Kurama inquired.(A/N: God he's dense...jk Kurama fans *hides under bed* pweeze don't kill me!) "You really don't know do you?" Kurama sat down on his bed beside the little youkai and shook his head 'no'.  
  
"Do you remember who raised me as a child, Kurama? Those thieves." Kurama nodded. He recalled Hiei talking about this briefly before. "Well, they...they..." Hiei's eyes were watering now, with soon to be teargems. "They...?" Kurama repeated slowly, coaxing Hiei on. Hiei shook his head. "It's a long story, Kurama." Kurama nodded "But you need to tell some one, Hiei. If something hurts you bad enough to make you cry, then you can't keep it inside." Hiei looked up at Kurama defiantly "I can too!" the taller boy smiled sadly. "But you shouldn't, Hiei."  
  
Hiei looked down at the floor. He was crying, his small frame wracked with silent sobs. Kurama guessed that Hiei had been keeping whatever it was inside for a very long time. "Rape. They raped me, Kurama." Kurama's eyes went wide, then narrowed. //Those BASTARDS!!// His fists clenched. //I'll kill them, their families, their friends!// Unusually violent thoughts flooded Kurama's mind when he realized that Hiei was tugging at his sleeve. Kurama looked down at the shorter demon and smiled. He didn't want to scare Hiei. //That's all he needs now..// "I'm so sorry Hiei...why didn't you tell me?" Hiei refused to meet Kurama's eyes. "I...just...thought that you would think that I'm weak..." Kurama gently grasped Hiei's chin and moved his face so their eyes could meet. "Hiei, I will never think that you're weak. You've held this in for way too long, and not just anyone could do that. It is never your fault if someone else hurts you, Hiei." Kurama pulled his hand away and continued to make eye contact with Hiei.  
  
It had been taken only a few minutes for Hiei to fall asleep in Kurama's bed after their heart to heart talk. Kurama had asked Hiei to stay with him and skip the visit to Koenma. //Hiei's had a horrible life...and he's finally reached his breakdown point. How do I help him from here? Oh Hiei, how will I get you out of this one?// Kurama had been in numerous scrapes with Hiei before, and they had always bailed each other out some how. But this time, Kurama realized, it was personal.  
  
Ok, Ok. I know it was short, but bear with me. So what should I do?!!?!? Should I make it shounen-ai? Yaoi? Argh! Should I continue it at all?!?!?!? Ack, I don't know what to do, and neither does Kurama....It's all you, Reviewers!! Help us out??? PLEEEEEASSSE!?!?!!?  
  
^_^ Thankies!! 


	2. Muffin

Hi! It's Nykta again!! Whoever thought that the author would be with the story?? Hehe, ok I know that some of you wonderful reviewers caught my errors, and I can't thank you enough!! You've helped me improve my writing style, and I think that's really cool of you. For the rest of you, well, it looks like . . . *drum roll* SHOUNEN-AI!!! All of you lovely reviewers gave me great ideas, and, well, made me really HYPER. ^______________________________^ DISCLAIMER: I own . . . nothing...*sniff*  
  
Hiei, for the first time in years, was sleeping very soundly. However, Kurama was a different story all together.  
  
Kurama paced the floor of his living room nervously, trying to sort out a tangle of emotions and questions in his mind. //So he was raped. And he's held it in for decades! So how did it happen? When? Where are the thieves now? How can I find them? Why do I suddenly want to find them so badly?...// Kurama sat down on the nearby couch and sprawled himself out. He had no idea why he wanted to help so much. Kurama had always been kind and willing to help, but never to the point of wishing to physically torture someone who didn't hurt him directly. But they had hurt him. //Why does this happening to Hiei cause a black hole in my heart? Do I...love Hiei?// Kurama shook his head. Thoughts were invading his mind relentlessly now, thoughts that scared him a little. //That's the last thing Hiei needs right now.// Kurama envisioned the scene in his mind: "Hello Hiei. I know you were raped as a child and all, but I think I love you. So, without further ado, I'm going to go and torture the thieves that raped you. How was your day?" Kurama snickered as he imagined the look on Hiei's face. But, no. It wasn't funny, it couldn't be blown off.  
  
In his long friendship with Hiei, Kurama had never felt such adoration, such care for the little demon. It felt good. It felt awful. Kurama knew that Hiei wanted the thieves dead, but he had a price to pay. Which was unfair. //So, if I love him, and I kill the thieves because of it, will he love me? Does he love me? Even if he does, he's most likely warped permanently from his childhood. And if he doesn't love me and I kill the thieves, it will ruin my life. I will have killed people who didn't bother me. How does that look on the legendary fox bandit? And that's so damn selfish! The price for revenge is his heart, a heart that's already shattered.// Kurama was tired, and his thoughts were becoming mixed up, he couldn't distinguish which he was actually thinking and which he was thinking about thinking. He wasn't making sense. Kurama was exhausted. Physically, mentally, and, most of all, emotionally. Within an hour, he was fast asleep.  
  
Hiei awoke the next morning in a way that was quite unfamiliar to him. Usually, he woke at dawn to the smell of leaves and wet earth. But now, there was a different smell, a warmer aroma. He smelled something sweet. The next odd thing about his surroundings were the sheets that encircled him. They weren't like the rough bark he was used to, but very soft, silky almost. For a split second, Hiei was content. And then the memories of the night before came flooding back to him. Kurama knew about his past, and he was somewhere in the house. Hiei began to roughly plan his morning, seeing as running down the stairs and starting up a normal conversation seemed quite out of the question. So, he walked down the stairs, gingerly, as not to be caught, and followed the smell into the kitchen where some sort of human food was cooking.  
  
Kurama stood beside the oven, mixing something in a pitcher and humming lightly. "Kurama?" Hiei whispered, suddenly very horse. Kurama quit mixing whatever it was that he was stirring and turned to look at Hiei, his eyes very soft. "Good morning, Hiei. Are you hungry?" Hiei nodded. "What's cooking?" He asked slowly. Kurama smiled. "Muffins." Hiei cocked an eyebrow, looking at the oven. "What exactly is a muffin?" He inquired. "It's a little piece of bread mixed with other things, spices and such. Why do you ask?" Kurama was stirring the pitcher's contents again, his back to Hiei. "Your human mother called you that once." Kurama chuckled lightly. "That's just an endearing term that human women use for human children." Hiei understood, but it still seemed odd to him.  
  
//Somehow Kurama seems different...well he knows about the rape now, but he still looks...off...or...// Hiei's brows were furrowed as he played with his fork, lost in deep thought.//He's nice. He's nice to me, anyway. He's pretty.// Hiei was blushing as a result of his own devices now. He looked down at his plate, hiding his face from view. //I did NOT just use 'Kurama' and 'Pretty' in the same sentence, did I? Aw, damn. I did. And I did it again.// Somewhere deep within his heart, Hiei knew that he really felt more for Kurama than he would ever confess. However, he also understood that Kurama was vulnerable in his own strength. Hiei knew that if he was to tell Kurama that he loved him, it would screw things up for Kurama as a result of his huge heart. //Kurama has a big heart. But if he doesn't love me, he'll feel bad about it. I don't want him to hurt just because his heart is too big.//  
  
Kurama poured whatever the orange liquid in the pitcher was into a glass in front of Hiei's plate. "It's orange juice. Drink up, it'll return your energy. You're going to need it." Hiei cocked his head to one side and looked Kurama in the eyes. "Why?" He asked. "Hiei, if you'll let me, I'll help you. Yusuke and Kuwabara are going to be over this evening. I haven't told them why yet, but they know we're going hunting." Kurama sat down at his place across from the smaller demon and drank a little of the orange juice. "What are you hunting?" Hiei asked, interested. "The thieves that raised you." Hiei paled significantly, and his eyes immediately began to water. "They're probably dead, Kurama." Kurama nodded. "I know. And soon, their families will be, too." Hiei was shocked. Kurama was beyond the point of worrying. He loved Hiei, and the thieves and their kin were going to pay for messing with the legendary fox demon. 


	3. Slinky WARNING: Slightly graphic noncon

Okay, I've updated. Thankies for all the nice reviews, and keep 'em coming. I was having a bit of trouble during the last...few...months, and this ficclet kind of fell between the cracks of Microsoft Word and some other Word Processing Program who's name is so accursed that I refuse to speak it. Any way, I own nothing, blah, blah...

The day passed rather quickly, in Hiei's opinion. It was around four as the two boys sat together in Kurama's room, talking. It had been a while since Hiei had simply spoken to someone for the sake of speaking, and it wasn't half bad. At least, not with Kurama.

"Hiei?"

The fox's red locks spilled over his shoulders as he sat cross-legged at his desk, verdant eyes focused on Hiei. Who was idly perched on his bed, playing with a slinky.

"Hn...what?"

Hiei answered softly, metal coils amusing him to no end. As idiotic as ningens were, their toys seemed to bring unsurpassed amounts of joy to the youkai. Needless to say, Kurama was struggling not to giggle. But the subject matter soon turned his mind to more serious things.

"Can you tell me about it? About the rape."

Kurama noticed Hiei's flinching at the word, but he knew that nothing would be accomplished by avoiding it. Hiei had shrouded himself in denial for far too long. And it had damn near destroyed him.

"I...I don't know...I..."

Hiei trailed off, still twisting the metal spring around. He wanted to tell Kurama, but it would be difficult, at the least. He had long since come to terms with his feelings for the kitsune - a deep love that went far beyond the bounds of friendship. Sure, it begun that way, but it wasn't like that any longer. Things had changed, evolved...blossomed.

"Please, Hiei. Just tell me what happened."

The fox tried his best to make his tone low, soothing and not threatening in the least. The air in the room seemed to still, afternoon sunlight pouring thick as smoke through the window. Hiei took a deep, resolved breath.

"I'll tell you, fox."

FLASHBACK ((Insert cool ripply sound effect here.))

Shidokai poked at the fire restlessly. He and the other bandits had been stationed at the same camp for days, and had not been able to pull off one successful robbery. There seemed to be some other group who got to all of the good stuff first, some band of beautiful, stealthy male youkai. Any how, the motley crew was quite run-down, and morale was low. Along with supplies and provisions. Who ever these other badass youkai were, they were also getting all of the good game. Sighing, the leader of the group, Kotsu plopped down next to Shidokai.

"I got an idea."

Kotsu said guffly, turning Shidokai to face him. It was well known among the youkai in the band that Kotsu was quite sadistic. He was not below sacrificing any one of his band mates in order to get some profit. Wether it was greed or sheer evil that made Kotsu the way he was, he certainly had every one in the group scared into submission.

"What's that, boss?"

"We get the kid's teargem. D'you know how much them things is worth?"

Shidokai gulped. He knew how protective the young fire demon was of his teargem. After all, it was the only relic of his home that he had. But Kotsu was right. On the market, teargems were practically priceless, if only because of their rarity.

"He'll never give it to you, boss."

"Then I'll take it from him. Find him, 'nd send him to my room."

With that, Kotsu was off. Shidokai shivered as he pondered the lengths that Kotsu would go to to acquire the teargem. He rose, and searched the surrounding tree branches for Hiei. He found him within the half-hour, resting on a low branch, cloak wrapped around him tightly.

"Oi, Hiei! Kotsu wants you in his cave."

"Why, Shido-Kun?"

Hiei cocked his head to the side, raven bangs falling messily into sleepy eyes. He jumped off of his branch, and stretched in a catlike fashion, yawning to boot.

"I...I don't know. Just...go."

Kotsu couldn't bear to tell the little demon the truth. Partly, he didn't know exactly what Kotsu was planning himself, but he knew for sure that it wasn't good. And that Hiei would most certainly never be the same after this little meeting. Without another word, the smaller demon was bounding through the tree tops, on his way to Kotsu's cave.

"Boss? I'm here. Shido-Kun said you wanted to talk to me."

Hiei cheerily announced as he pushed aside the hanging that covered the cave entrance. Hiei immediatley noticed that something was odd. For one, it was not only Kotsu within the dim cave, but two of the other band members, Tazu and Moki. Both of who were grinning like jackals and licking their lips hungrily.

"Yeah, I called you here. Hiei, we need the teargem."

The small youkai instantly clutched the smooth, round gem hanging from his neck.

"No way! The teargem is mine, Boss. I can't give it to you!"

Kotsu sighed melodramatically.

"Then I guess we'll have to get some another way, eh boys?"

The other theives nodded enthusiastically, standing and quickly seizing Hiei's slim wrists. Hiei fought vehemently against them, but Tazu managed to bind his hands together, and Moki slipped a gag in his mouth. Then, they pushed him to the cold ground, already having removed his cloak. Hiei could only whimper as the other demons hastily took his pants and shirt off, running their icy fingers over his most sensitive skin. For the first, but not last time in his life, Hiei truly wanted to die. He heard Kutso laugh sardonically, and grunt something to the other two. After that, Hiei heard the rushed rustle of fabric, and knew that they had disrobed. From there, he felt mouths, hot and hungry, all over his young flesh. Sharpened fangs baring down into him until he bled, and then, the worst of it. He was roughly slammed into, many times over, by all three of the demons. Pain filled him until he thought that he would shatter, and fade into the ground in a mess of blood and seed.

END FLASHBACK

"...Oh...Hiei..."

Once again, a thick silence settled over the room. The only noise came from Hiei, in the form of muffled sobs, and teargems plopping onto Kurama's sheets. For a moment, Hiei's sobbing lessened, and he raised his ruby eyes to meet the kitsune's emerald orbs.

"Kurama?"

He asked meekly, orbs wide and watering, tears trailing down his cheeks.

"Yes, Hiei?"

Kurama answered, sitting down by the demon on the bed, pushing the slinky onto the floor. He then gently wrapped his arms around the little youkai, pulling him into a protective embrace.

"I love you."

The fox was silent for a moment, then responded.

"I love you too."

"...Like a mate?"

"Like a mate."

And then, Hiei relaxed into Kurama, lulled by his steady breathing and heartbeat. Nirvana, euphoria, paradise, heaven, elaysia...Hiei wasn't sure quite what to call it. But he did not want this feeling to end - ever. And neither did his new mate, his Kurama.

--TBC--

Mmmm'kay, Yusuke and Kuwa should show up in next chappy. Please review!!


End file.
